Welcome to Politics

April, 2011, election time at Eastern part of India. West Bengal is plunged into politics, as usual! Politics is in the air!

What is politics?

I can remember my early college days. It was monsoon at Jalpaiguri. In engineering, we had a subject called Civics, where politics was a topic. Our civics teacher used to explain everything with minute details and after that he used to ask “is not?” in his typical Bengali accent. We used to call him “is not” sir, with love. One day “is not” sir asked us, “What is politics”? All the boys and girls were explaining their definitions. And suddenly one of our friends with curly hair stood up and answered with his typical chuckling smile “politics is a first class game played by the third class persons”. The whole class started laughing, and so was “is not” sir.




Cartoon by Nirjhar

  In my early childhood, when I was a mere kid, I had immense interest and awareness about politics, which is quite unusual for a middle class Bengali family. Still today, I can remember the political cartoons of great cartoonist Kutty, which was a regular publication in a popular Bengali Newspaper (Aajkaal), during late 80s. Inspired with those cartoons, I had drawn a hen with a face of Michael Gorvachov (last communist president of Soviet Union) with his two eggs named “glasnost” and “perestroika”! And behind that I had drawn comic face of Yeltsin (first head of nation of democratic Russia) who was smiling at the hen! Those were golden days of my life, when I used to enjoy study, politics, cartoons, recitation, and sports of all possible kinds! But as I grew up, I started feeling that politics in India is nothing but a circus and politicians are clowns of that show only. Even clowns at real circus are human being with real heart. But Indian politicians are “heartless” “inhuman” clowns! Nobody is exception, starting from Municipalities to Parliament! Indian politicians are different species, compared to Homo sapiens. I wish that, someday some scientist will discover the actual species of Indian politicians and the mode of mutation of a human gene when an Indian enters into politics.
As per great Bengali writer, Tarapada Roy, politicians are well aware regarding people’s thought about them! Mr. Roy used to know a politician in rural areas. One day Mr. Roy went to that area to attend a social party. After dinner he was standing beside the dining place. Suddenly that politician came for dinner, with his company. After seeing Mr. Roy he came to him and introduced himself to Mr. Roy. Then Mr. Roy told him “Yeah, I have heard lot of things about you.” Suddenly the politician replied with his changed stiff jaws, “Whatever you have heard, nobody can prove anything”! Then he left the place with firm steps! That is a politician!

But in reality I have found that, some people are there who has tremendous interest in politics. They “Eat Politics, Drink Politics, and Sleep Politics”! Like my old neighbor, Senbabu. He is strong supporter of a political party, whose theme color is blue. But, he is neither a member of that political party nor that party cares him. He is just a middleclass Bengali office employee, who mugs up popular Bengali news paper, “Ananda Baazar” at morning with a cup of tea and goes to the office by crowded local train. During short train journey he discusses major political news with his like minded friends, in a high voice. He always loves to establish his views, by any means. After going to office he vomits all of the words written in the news paper in a sharp voice, standing on the office floor. Obviously he focuses on that news which favors blue colored party. After announcing all the political news in his style, he feels comfortable and takes his allocated seat. After that he starts discussing and analyzing all the news with his next seat neighbor Palbabu, in a low voice. Sometimes he raises his voice that much so that his possible rival Banerjeebabu can hear his views. In the process clock turns to 12-30 PM. Lunch break. During lunch break Senbabu finishes his all possible calls to his relatives, friends and his share broker. After lunch Senbabu again delivers his second lecture on the office floor by explaining the present socio-political and economic scenario of West Bengal. He also analyzes how the blue colored party is developing the state and how the major opposition of blue party is destroying the state. But there is a major difference in his morning lecture and afternoon lecture. His morning lecture is always very flamboyant, aggressive and news based. But his afternoon lecture is more analytical and subjective. He delivers morning lectures with high voice and high frequency; where as his afternoon lecture is more calm and composed. His calmness depends on the quality of the lunch! After this second round lecture, he spends the second half by visiting chairs of his possible like minded friends by collecting their views on his lectures. When the smaller stick of the clock touches 5, Senbabu leaves office before the slimmest stick of the clock starts moving, after 5-00 PM! On the return journey, Senbabu normally does not discuss anything, because due his tough professional life he feels tired and prefers to sleep during return journey! Nowadays, I am observing that, Senbabu is traveling in an office bus. Most probably his office has started a bus service. God, please save his colleagues who travel with him!



Cartoon by Nirjhar

  Now please come to Palbabu, Senbabu’s next table neighbor at office. Palbabu thinks that he is smarter than Senbabu. He is not that vocal as Senbabu. But he continuously supplies data to Senbabu for delivering lectures. Senbabu is also a strong supporter of Blue coloured political party, but he is member of Yellow coloured political party at his locality and takes all the helps from present ruling Pink coloured political party through his nephew who is high level leader of Pink coloured party! When somebody asks Palbabu about the reason behind his supports for Blue party, he always tells that he is not a supporter of Blue party, he only supports the truth!
This truth is very dangerous. Most interestingly, when politicians demand something, he always insists that his version is as true as the universal truth. One day, in a election campaign a popular lady leader of opposition demands that if she wins she will make her state Switzerland. After her lecture, her close aide, Mr. Madanlal, asks, “M’am, we have told that you will make this state Switzerland! But after your win, if people ask you about this then what will happen”? The lady just ignored, “Oooo! People have short memory. They will never remember this!” Mr. Lal was still nagging, “M’am, if Opposition raises this issue, and try to mobilize people, then what will happen”! Now the lady became a little irritated and replied in her usual tone. “You fool! In my tenure I will constantly demand to Central Government to cover whole the state with Himalayan range! Before next election if somebody tries to make this an issue, then I will prove that, it was a great conspiracy of Central Government by not supporting my demand”! The politicians write history by their own pattern, create geography by their own wish, and discover new species by their own intellect. They make their own rule of game and break the rule by their own! One day, in a press conference, the most unpopular chief minister of a state boasted that his party is the best alternative after the completion his five years term. The reporters asked him that, his party is ruling party. How can an incumbent be its own alternative? The chief minister laughed, “I have washed out all the opposition! So nobody can be alternative for me, except me”!


Cartoon by Nirjhar



I want to finish my essay with a story written by great writer Tarapada Roy. Once upon a time, a politician went to a famous but controversial gentleman with a request to deliver a lecture on his behalf. The gentleman instantly agreed with this proposal and promised to help the politician, but he just requested him to ponder over, “before I deliver a lecture for you, go home and please rethink what will be beneficial for you: in case I lecture for you or I lecture against you”!

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Last but not the least! Again Mr. Tarapada Roy:

It is a story of a very old village lady.

A politician came to beg for vote to that old lady, “Grandma, please give me vote in next election!”

The old lady had good vision, also her memory was as sharp as a young fellow, “You were an election candidate last year also! Is not it?”

The candidate, “yes Grandma!”

The grandma was bold, “then why you have come again, within a year!”

The candidate, “The government falls in trust vote!”

The old lady asked, “Why you allow government to fall!”

The candidate had no reply.

The old lady asked, “Again you are begging vote?”

The candidate was smart, “I know you will give me vote. I am sure!”

The lady, “this time, I will keep you in second position.”

The candidate fumbled, “Grandma, who will be your number one candidate?”

The old lady boldly replied, “Anybody, except you!”

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The grandma was absolutely correct. That’s how an Indian politician should be treated! Do you agree with me?

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